Happiest birthday, Kristin! What a joy to have crossed paths in this life. Your words are a gift -- these ones here: "I am no good to me or anyone else if I cannot find my joy. So forgive me, my loves, I’ll never stop fucking around" will live with me for a while. Never never stop fucking around !! Mantra!
Jocelyn you are a goddamn DELIGHT and I'm t-h-r-i-l-l-e-d that we found each other in this life! Your poems, your presence, your gatorade moon! I don't mean to get ahead of myself but I look forward to knowing you forever. Thank you for the sugar, always, and for understanding the importance of fucking around forever. 🤸🏽♀️
Happy Birthday, Kristin! It's just like you to celebrate a birthday by giving us a gift <3
I so enjoyed your post, and I've done this exercise many times, and am always stunned at how different my responses are each time.
I so appreciate you sharing your values, and I'll share mine too:
Adventure - Being curious about and trying out new experiences. I want to fuck around and find out. Sometimes that may mean trying something out that doesn’t appear to be “rational” or prudent. And I’ve discovered that prudence doesn’t often yield satisfaction. I want fucking satisfaction. It may also mean trying something out that may not be immediately appealing, but being open to the experience and willing to explore its paths of possibilities. For me, it’s an approach that also includes a sense of wonder and “what if?”.
Freedom - I’m opinionated, and at times a contrarian. I will listen to others’ experiences, and I want to try things out to see for myself. I often tell myself that tomorrow I can wake up and be a whole other bitch because my life is my story to write. I’ve often woken up and decided to be a whole other bitch. I often experience “light-switch” moments. I believe that our purpose on this earth is to have the most wondrous experiences we can as divinity contained within a meatsuit. I want to try everything on offer on this smorgasbord of life.
Imagination - We already know what “now” looks like, but think about what could be! Almost anything is possible. This laptop you’re typing on? It started out in 1981 as a 24.5lb brick. It was gnarly, but a start. And through revisions and reiterations, here we are today. Every big thing starts out as some outlandish idea that “certainly can’t be done”, but a lot of little things become big things. I believe in dreaming and having the faith and steadfastness of a mustard seed. A mustard seed which starts out at 1/8th of an inch and morphs into a 30-foot tree. A spark of an idea can lead to a start–if you choose to give the idea room to breathe and take it seriously and believe.
Learning - Humans can be such rudimentary creatures in such an enormous earth and universe. We have soft hides, a really narrow spectrum of colorings and markings, and can comfortably exist in a narrow band of temperature and conditions, and even within those limitations, there’s so much to learn from each other. Beyond those limitations, there’s so much we don’t know. Take the ocean for instance–we simultaneously know a lot and a little about it. Space? The same thing. I’m always awed by the folks who suffer from boredom. There SO much to learn, about oneself, others, the world, just pick something! Sure, I enjoy classical learning, but I also mean learning through experience, and taking care to reflect on and analyze your imaginings and adventures. Did you discover something amazing? Do more of that shit! Did you experience a setback? Stop that shit! This is the part where I get to make meaning of all of the experiences I seek. What was/is their significance, to myself, to others, to being? Do I have another lead on a wondrous experience? How can I expand this supercool thing, and minimize this crummy thing in my life?
Pleasure - I’ve learned that if it feels good, I want to fuck with it (well, not always literally, you know what I mean). Earlier in life I placed value on the struggle. To struggle for something means it’s worth the effort. Man, fuck that noise. Sometimes it is, but I’ve learned that sometimes it isn’t. And when it isn’t that means I’ve chosen the struggle and ate shit sandwiches only to move onto the final boss of a shit sandwich buffet. I’m no longer about that life. That doesn’t mean I’m a hedonist, I just want to feel good and aligned, whether that’s emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I’m trusting that when I feel pleasure it’s my instinct and intuition converging to tell me “Yass bitch, more of this please and thank you”.
Wow Hamida you are *good* at this. Look at this decadent ass delicious recipe you've made for a life—learning and pleasure, adventure and imagination, walking hand in hand through space and time and leading you to your own model of freedom. Yes to the smorgasboard, YES TO GIVING THE SPARK SPACE TO BREATHE!
I so admire how clearly and gorgeously you know and see yourself in these, and even more so how you share it with us. Thank you for reminding us to take the ocean for instance, to appreciate the miraculous journey from big gnarly brick to sleek communication machine, to consider the mustard seed, and always always always to eat better sandwiches.
May the god of goodness bless you and keep you always near me, Hamida. 🌳✨
Hbd lovely ❤️ have loved Lucille Clifton long time so thank you for this reminder. The values exercise comes at such an apt time. Thank you for your words as always 🙏🏽
Oh Sana I'd *love* to know where you're landing right now, what's leading you through this thrilling, trilling moment in your life. It's such a gift to watch it from this distance, and see you stepping into your miraculous fullness as an artist and a leader. Thank you for living out loud.
First - Happy Birthday! Gives September an extra sense of renewal, I would think...
I searched the list for the word "Time" (I embarrassed to say that I was so focused on considering the concepts that it took me a few seconds to realize they were in alphabetical order) but couldn't find it. I don't even know what "Time" means in my context -- but I want to bring it forward. "Mindfulness" might be close. "Freedom" is close too, though that doesn't seem to be in the list either. I know there are blanks to fill in your own words, but... are time and freedom really on the same plane as abundance and play? Are these things outside of me rather than within me?
Or is it a sign that maybe I have to dig a little deeper?
An interesting exercise in any case. I will come back to this later. You know. When I have more time.
Thank you Graham and YES to the sense of renewal this season brings. I've always loved September.
I am *so* intrigued by your reflections and relationship with time. I'm curious what the relationship between time, mindfulness and freedom may be for you—what does freedom mean for you? Freedom from the tyranny of linear time? Freedom to use your time as you wish? Does that mean maybe independence or imagination are up there for you? "The more beautiful answer, who asks the more beautiful question" etc etc.
I do so hope you find the time to dig in, I bet it'll be interesting as hell.
And thank YOU for the consistent reminders to sit my ass down and write the words. I can't tell you how much your newsletter motivates and moves me to stick with this practice. ♥️ Wild abandon, always.
I came to this, mulled a bit, wrote something, deleted it, and mulled some more. I'm back to try again... lol
I think the closest is the "freedom to use the time as I wish", but freedom in general has been a big driver in my life. Growing up and moving away from the family was a part of that freedom. Getting a driver's licence. Travelling -- I think I'm most "home" when I'm on the road somewhere. Not being tied down to any one thing or another.
I know this sounds a bit like commitment phobia, but it's not really that. I am happy to commit to this or that or the other -- and I'll be there early. But that's usually on my own terms. -- or at least by choice. Being forced to do something that I have no choice in, like snowblowing the driveway because the storm came today, or being at work at a certain time in the morning drives me up the wall. (The first I can't control. The second -- well, that's why I freelance. I knew early on that 9 to 5 would never be my thing...)
Creative freedom is nice too -- and I would like more time to work on personal projects. But that's a trade-off I willingly made. I chose marketing writing because I was more likely to successfully provide for a family that way than writing 12 novels and getting none published. I'm happy I write for a living, and if I have to give up some creative freedom for that ideal, then so be it.
Independence and imagination are up there too, but I don't really equate them to freedom. Independence would be the closest I suppose, but I'm happy (and actually more comfortable) making decisions as part of a group, whether it is with my wife for family stuff or doing group projects.
I dunno, does that answer your questions? As I say, I had to sit and consider it for a long time apparently, and I'm still not sure I'm clear myself!
So glad to hear my newsletters motivate you! The feeling is most certainly mutual -- and this post of yours in particular.
Love all of this, Graham, in particular how beautifully you model curiosity and open-ness about yourself. We fucking love spirited self-inquiry!
I also just really appreciate learning what different words mean to different people—it's so easy to take for granted that we're speaking the same language just because we're speaking the same language. Thank you for entertaining my nosy questions and letting me peek inside your head a minute. Always a pleasure. ♥️
Happiest birthday, Kristin! What a joy to have crossed paths in this life. Your words are a gift -- these ones here: "I am no good to me or anyone else if I cannot find my joy. So forgive me, my loves, I’ll never stop fucking around" will live with me for a while. Never never stop fucking around !! Mantra!
Jocelyn you are a goddamn DELIGHT and I'm t-h-r-i-l-l-e-d that we found each other in this life! Your poems, your presence, your gatorade moon! I don't mean to get ahead of myself but I look forward to knowing you forever. Thank you for the sugar, always, and for understanding the importance of fucking around forever. 🤸🏽♀️
Happy Birthday, Kristin! It's just like you to celebrate a birthday by giving us a gift <3
I so enjoyed your post, and I've done this exercise many times, and am always stunned at how different my responses are each time.
I so appreciate you sharing your values, and I'll share mine too:
Adventure - Being curious about and trying out new experiences. I want to fuck around and find out. Sometimes that may mean trying something out that doesn’t appear to be “rational” or prudent. And I’ve discovered that prudence doesn’t often yield satisfaction. I want fucking satisfaction. It may also mean trying something out that may not be immediately appealing, but being open to the experience and willing to explore its paths of possibilities. For me, it’s an approach that also includes a sense of wonder and “what if?”.
Freedom - I’m opinionated, and at times a contrarian. I will listen to others’ experiences, and I want to try things out to see for myself. I often tell myself that tomorrow I can wake up and be a whole other bitch because my life is my story to write. I’ve often woken up and decided to be a whole other bitch. I often experience “light-switch” moments. I believe that our purpose on this earth is to have the most wondrous experiences we can as divinity contained within a meatsuit. I want to try everything on offer on this smorgasbord of life.
Imagination - We already know what “now” looks like, but think about what could be! Almost anything is possible. This laptop you’re typing on? It started out in 1981 as a 24.5lb brick. It was gnarly, but a start. And through revisions and reiterations, here we are today. Every big thing starts out as some outlandish idea that “certainly can’t be done”, but a lot of little things become big things. I believe in dreaming and having the faith and steadfastness of a mustard seed. A mustard seed which starts out at 1/8th of an inch and morphs into a 30-foot tree. A spark of an idea can lead to a start–if you choose to give the idea room to breathe and take it seriously and believe.
Learning - Humans can be such rudimentary creatures in such an enormous earth and universe. We have soft hides, a really narrow spectrum of colorings and markings, and can comfortably exist in a narrow band of temperature and conditions, and even within those limitations, there’s so much to learn from each other. Beyond those limitations, there’s so much we don’t know. Take the ocean for instance–we simultaneously know a lot and a little about it. Space? The same thing. I’m always awed by the folks who suffer from boredom. There SO much to learn, about oneself, others, the world, just pick something! Sure, I enjoy classical learning, but I also mean learning through experience, and taking care to reflect on and analyze your imaginings and adventures. Did you discover something amazing? Do more of that shit! Did you experience a setback? Stop that shit! This is the part where I get to make meaning of all of the experiences I seek. What was/is their significance, to myself, to others, to being? Do I have another lead on a wondrous experience? How can I expand this supercool thing, and minimize this crummy thing in my life?
Pleasure - I’ve learned that if it feels good, I want to fuck with it (well, not always literally, you know what I mean). Earlier in life I placed value on the struggle. To struggle for something means it’s worth the effort. Man, fuck that noise. Sometimes it is, but I’ve learned that sometimes it isn’t. And when it isn’t that means I’ve chosen the struggle and ate shit sandwiches only to move onto the final boss of a shit sandwich buffet. I’m no longer about that life. That doesn’t mean I’m a hedonist, I just want to feel good and aligned, whether that’s emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I’m trusting that when I feel pleasure it’s my instinct and intuition converging to tell me “Yass bitch, more of this please and thank you”.
I WANT! TO FUCK AROUND! AND FIND OUT!
Wow Hamida you are *good* at this. Look at this decadent ass delicious recipe you've made for a life—learning and pleasure, adventure and imagination, walking hand in hand through space and time and leading you to your own model of freedom. Yes to the smorgasboard, YES TO GIVING THE SPARK SPACE TO BREATHE!
I so admire how clearly and gorgeously you know and see yourself in these, and even more so how you share it with us. Thank you for reminding us to take the ocean for instance, to appreciate the miraculous journey from big gnarly brick to sleek communication machine, to consider the mustard seed, and always always always to eat better sandwiches.
May the god of goodness bless you and keep you always near me, Hamida. 🌳✨
happy birthday, you shiny dahlia, you!
ilysm 🌺
HBD!!!! 🎉❤️🎉
Thank you Lachrista, sending you and your heart all the love in mine. ♥️
Hbd lovely ❤️ have loved Lucille Clifton long time so thank you for this reminder. The values exercise comes at such an apt time. Thank you for your words as always 🙏🏽
Oh Sana I'd *love* to know where you're landing right now, what's leading you through this thrilling, trilling moment in your life. It's such a gift to watch it from this distance, and see you stepping into your miraculous fullness as an artist and a leader. Thank you for living out loud.
Hey Kristin,
First - Happy Birthday! Gives September an extra sense of renewal, I would think...
I searched the list for the word "Time" (I embarrassed to say that I was so focused on considering the concepts that it took me a few seconds to realize they were in alphabetical order) but couldn't find it. I don't even know what "Time" means in my context -- but I want to bring it forward. "Mindfulness" might be close. "Freedom" is close too, though that doesn't seem to be in the list either. I know there are blanks to fill in your own words, but... are time and freedom really on the same plane as abundance and play? Are these things outside of me rather than within me?
Or is it a sign that maybe I have to dig a little deeper?
An interesting exercise in any case. I will come back to this later. You know. When I have more time.
Thanks for another great post!
~Graham
Thank you Graham and YES to the sense of renewal this season brings. I've always loved September.
I am *so* intrigued by your reflections and relationship with time. I'm curious what the relationship between time, mindfulness and freedom may be for you—what does freedom mean for you? Freedom from the tyranny of linear time? Freedom to use your time as you wish? Does that mean maybe independence or imagination are up there for you? "The more beautiful answer, who asks the more beautiful question" etc etc.
I do so hope you find the time to dig in, I bet it'll be interesting as hell.
And thank YOU for the consistent reminders to sit my ass down and write the words. I can't tell you how much your newsletter motivates and moves me to stick with this practice. ♥️ Wild abandon, always.
I came to this, mulled a bit, wrote something, deleted it, and mulled some more. I'm back to try again... lol
I think the closest is the "freedom to use the time as I wish", but freedom in general has been a big driver in my life. Growing up and moving away from the family was a part of that freedom. Getting a driver's licence. Travelling -- I think I'm most "home" when I'm on the road somewhere. Not being tied down to any one thing or another.
I know this sounds a bit like commitment phobia, but it's not really that. I am happy to commit to this or that or the other -- and I'll be there early. But that's usually on my own terms. -- or at least by choice. Being forced to do something that I have no choice in, like snowblowing the driveway because the storm came today, or being at work at a certain time in the morning drives me up the wall. (The first I can't control. The second -- well, that's why I freelance. I knew early on that 9 to 5 would never be my thing...)
Creative freedom is nice too -- and I would like more time to work on personal projects. But that's a trade-off I willingly made. I chose marketing writing because I was more likely to successfully provide for a family that way than writing 12 novels and getting none published. I'm happy I write for a living, and if I have to give up some creative freedom for that ideal, then so be it.
Independence and imagination are up there too, but I don't really equate them to freedom. Independence would be the closest I suppose, but I'm happy (and actually more comfortable) making decisions as part of a group, whether it is with my wife for family stuff or doing group projects.
I dunno, does that answer your questions? As I say, I had to sit and consider it for a long time apparently, and I'm still not sure I'm clear myself!
So glad to hear my newsletters motivate you! The feeling is most certainly mutual -- and this post of yours in particular.
~Graham
Love all of this, Graham, in particular how beautifully you model curiosity and open-ness about yourself. We fucking love spirited self-inquiry!
I also just really appreciate learning what different words mean to different people—it's so easy to take for granted that we're speaking the same language just because we're speaking the same language. Thank you for entertaining my nosy questions and letting me peek inside your head a minute. Always a pleasure. ♥️
I believe it was at least equally illuminating for me as well... lol
So thanks for that!
~Graham
Happy birthday Kristin! Sending you lots of good vibes and love. 🤗🤗🤗
Oh Punit I feel it and receive it! And then? I bundle it up and send it right on back to you. Thank you friend. 💞